“We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.” – Anaïs Nin
For most of my life, I’ve sought after my one true love, yearning for a Mr. Right to complete me and give meaning to my life. I had an idea of how this partner should be, and when I thought I had met them, I’d fall in “love” easily. But these relationships, while intense as times, typically didn’t last past a few weeks, oftentimes because it had suddenly become clear they never fit the “Mr. Right” mold in the first place.
There was the English tourist in Siem Reap I spent an entire evening in effortless conversation, and very sadly discovered the next day that he wasn’t as enthusiastic about our connection:
There was the German music producer in Queens, NY who impressed me as the lead guitarist in a rock band, but turned out to be rather socially awkward:
There was the Singaporean Mama’s boy, who always let me have things my way, and I probably would have married him…
… but then I fell for an American singer-songwriter with whom I believed I had more common interests:
There was the hotheaded Latino from Brooklyn with whom I broke up and got back together so many times that our relationship was like a telenovela:
(We were on-again-off-again for four years… so this one is also him):
And so on…
Since 2013, I’ve been working extensively on my personal development, as well as my ability to connect with others beyond my impressions of them. I’ve been examining my relationship patterns and my perspectives on romance and connection, and slowly uncovering how my beliefs on love and relationships have been shaped from various incidents throughout the course of my life.
And are those beliefs really what Love is? More and more I see how holding on to my perspectives and ideas of “connection” actually disconnect me from others, and I’m really just existing in my own little bubble, believing in my impressions of people and life and love, when in reality they are something else.
In reality, everyone else is also in their own little bubble created by their perspectives and experiences of love and life.
And when two worlds come together, are they really connecting, or is there always this space between us? What does a true Connection mean and how do we get there?
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